Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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