Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
