He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
