Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
