Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Randomize