hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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