It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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