wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
