My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize