ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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