I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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