I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
