He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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