Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
