In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
