just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
