He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
