For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize