So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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