When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
