38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
