Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
