I have demons in me.
this boner is exhausting
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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