He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
