I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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