please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
wow bdsm is so cute
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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