I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
