So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
