this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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