Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
