This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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