dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
