Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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