hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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