gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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