Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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