Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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