I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
