well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
