We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
