you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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