From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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