Nicole vs. Life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
