I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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