Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
