Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
