Christians are straight up FREAKS
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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