She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
