I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
