he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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