whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
