Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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