lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
