White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize