K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
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He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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