i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
