Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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