JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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